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aschoolgirlcrush:

my mom just yelled “it’s called common sense” at my dog

disgustedsigh:

sweet dreams are made of bees
who am i, i’m made of bees
everything is made of bees
send help

serafu:

image

this is legitimately the best headline i have ever read in my entire life 


doctor:  sorry sir, we couldnt find a donor so we replaced your heart with a dragon balloon animal
patient:  how am i alive

fagtree:

so other than that, mrs. lincoln, how was the play

fagtree:

so other than that, mrs. lincoln, how was the play